Debt is not cute

It's only been recently that I've asked myself how did I get into this mess. The question is, really, why didn't I ask that question years ago. Although I'd like to think the luxury cars, designer clothes and leather couch was a necessity, the reality is my grandmother would not have thought these things were relevant or important or cute. Debt is not cute.

Using a gold, platinum or whatever color credit card when you aren't sure it's going to go through, or when the credit card company takes that priviledge away (over the limit fees, late fees, you-can't-use-it-any-more-fees), it's time to realize that debt is not cute.

I hope this is something that motivates me to get out of debt; I'm tired of being ugyly.

If you don't need it, don't buy it.

I didn't buy it! Whew, that was a test. As I try to adhere to the lessons my grandmother lived by and ultimately, taught her entire family was, if you don't need it, don't buy it. Well, I followed that lesson tonight and I'm kinda proud of myself.

I'm going on a trip to New York for work and my mp3 player is acting weird. Well, I love music and I can't imagine the trip without some tunes. So, it must be time for me to buy an Ipod; I mean, everyone around me has one and it's just time.

Well, guess what? I didn't buy it and that feels good. At the time, I was feeling a little dejected because I really, really wanted one, but instead, I bought a cheapo-deepo that will last, and I can probably re-sale on Ebay when I'm ready to get the Ipod.

Good job!

Money is not Stressful

It's not the money that makes our lives stressful. It's the improper use of money that causes the stress and strain we sometimes associate with money. I'm struggling trying to pay down my debt; well, honestly, I'd like to be debt free. But the struggles isn't just from the money, although more than not that's what I think. Really, it's the fact that I use my money incorrectly.

A few years ago I went to a seminar about motivation and one of the things they asked was how we felt when we get ready to go to work everyday. Well, at the time, I didn't like my job very much, and had lots of vacation. There were days I would wake up and decide this was not the day for me to go to work. I wasn't motivated to complete any work that day and therefore, no need to go.

Spin it. How would you feel about going to work today if you won the lottery? Would your attitude change just for that day if not future days? Well, of course, it would. That's motivation. When you think you can't do something (become debt free), it's all about your motivation. That's why I like reading the forums at Dave Ramsey. Believe it or not, I'm not the only person in debt.

My grandmother was never stressed about money, because money is not stressful. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

It's not about how much money you make

Really. I think about how much my grandmother made and how much I make. No matter how you look at it, I make probably 20 times more than she did. Seriously. She just knew what to do with what she had. Happy, content, peaceful, giving, caring - all the kinds of words that come to mind when I think about her.

Does money make you that way? Of course not. It's not about how much money you make.

Choose a financial path and get started

That's what my grandmother would say if I were able to talk to her and tell her how confused I am about this whole debt situation. I'm one of those people who will read and research, read some more, and do a little more research before I decide to actually do something. And, sometimes, in the midst of all that reading and research, I get bored and move on to something else.

I bought Dave Ramsey's book about 6 weeks ago and have just skipped through some of the stories. I WANT to want to get out of debt, but it takes a lot more than that. My confusion comes in having believed most of what I heard Suze Orman say in the past (yep, I have her book, too).

Maybe it's not so much who's recommendation I follow, as long as I commit to a process and get started. My grandmother didn't have a library of financial books, nor did she listen to every business podcast out there or search the internet for the perfect answer. She just did. You know, just make a choice and do. If it isn't the perfect choice, at least I started and I'd have to be closer than further away.

Dave Ramsey: How to get the right mortgage

If you're not familiar with Dave Ramsey and his gazelle-like-intensity for everyone to live debt free, you will hear some of his basic approaches to debt in this video.

My grandmother would have liked him a lot; I'm still trying to grab a hold of his concepts and figure out how to incorporate them into my life. He keeps popping up in my life. That must mean I need to listen.

Avoid Foreclosure

My grandmother owned her home as long as I can remember. She never had a second mortgage; so, owning a home meant just that. It did not mean that the house owned you.

Real estate foreclosure is no joke. I found this article that sheds a little light on where to get help if you find yourself close to being homeless.

Money Organization: You must open the bills

I know I'm not the only one who takes the long way to the mailbox. I hate getting bills and having to figure out how I'm going to pay them. A few years back, Oprah had someone on her show that would not open any of their bills or bank statements. I'm not that bad, but it is hard to sit down and make the time to know what's what and get everything in order.

It's a matter of organization. Finding something that makes it easy for me to know what's due and when it's due. I need to give this one some thought, but my grandmother had to have taught me this lesson and I've just forgotten.

Well, that gives me something to think about.

If you can't afford the car loan,

There's this car dealership infomercial running on our local channels - late night and weekends and it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. What they're offering is a car loan, for the credit challenged no less, that let's you roll your credit card debt into the loan. Or, not really just your credit card debt, the "actors" are saying things like, "we were able to pay some extra bills we had".

What!? Can you say upside down? What is it with these car dealers exploiting their customers and what is it with people not finally recognizing a bad deal when it's staring them right in the face?

Thank goodness I've moved beyond thinking this would be a great deal. Now, on to counting my dimes.

Saving my dimes

Well, I've committed to saving every dime I have (literally) and was just looking for a container to put them in. My plan is to save them until around the first of December, then take them to the bank to cash them in for Christmas presents. Okay, that's probably more like present, but I'm willing to see.

I have an Altoid tin to start out with (ha). As soon as it's full, I'll move up to something larger. Just like my debt, I need to visualize this in bitsize pieces. How long could it take to fill an Altoid tin with dimes? Well, I'll let you know.

How would you like to pay for that?

Enough said! If we can't laugh about it, and address it at the same time, we'll never fully understand how ridiculous it is that CREDIT and DEBT can rule our lives. Thanks for making me laugh as I address these financial issues that will not win!

Money Managment: It's in My Blood

honestly, I don't know why money matters are so difficult for me to get a grasp on. Not only was my Grandmother able to make lemonade out of the seeds of a lemon (and yes, I exaggerate purposely to make my point that this woman MAXIMIZED her dollars to the utmost), but my Mother was, and still is, able to the do the same thing.

You see, I come from a great lineage. Women who had to learn to take the dollars they were given and raise a family -- quite well, I might add. My family history is filled with women who were incredibly resiliant and outperformed for what they were given an opportunity to work with. My Grandmother had two sisters, both of whom were taken from the farm to be college educated. My Grandmother had to stay behind to keep the farm in order, but she never, never complained about it and if you ask me, she had the best life of them all -- she had me and my cousins as grandchildren! Ha!

I'm going to have to figure out how to apply their consistency and determination to my own financial matters. I have so much more to work with then either my Grandmother or Mother were ever given to work with. Even though I was raised in a two parent family (and yes, my Father was wonderful, too -- he just didn't handle the money in our house), I make more, and have for years, then my parents made together and they raised me, and my siblings, in a wonderful, middle class environment. We not only had the things we needed, for the most part, we had a lot of the things we wanted.

From this day forward, following the footsteps of great examples, I'm going to commit to doing something different. What, for sure? I don't know yet, but by golly, what I've been doing has not been working. I am in DEBT and they never were. My journey begins now!

Personal finance and debt at my grandmother's knee

Everything I know (or should know) about money, personal finance, and debt I learned just from being at my Grandmother's side and watching her live her life. The problem exists in that I wasn't serious about applying the life lessons she taught me to all of my life. Especially when it came to money management.

You see, it was easy to dismiss what she did with her money as something "she had to do" because of her generation. Credit cards were not prevalent (although, in retrospect, I had a credit card when my Grandmother was still alive and she did not -- ever), she was content with not having a huge house and fancy cars. As a matter of fact, my Grandmother didn't even own a car, nor did she have a driver's license.

But what she did own was a common sense approach to money and all that that entails. She was living debt free before being debt free was fashionable. She managed her personal finances out of envelopes and handkerchiefs. Oh, she had money in the bank and actually knew the banker and they knew her. What they didn't know was she probably had just as much money in the back of her top drawer chest at home as she had in the bank. She had investments long before employers were offering matching 401k's. I figured that out upon her death when the U.S. Savings Bonds she had been purchasing and saving for all her children and grandchildren returned more than double on most of her investment.

If I had to guess what my Grandmother made per year it would be less than $15,000. I'm serious, but what she was able to do better than me, better than my siblings who make 3 times more than me, was maximize her income.

She taught me many lessons about money, lessons I didn't even know she was teaching, but the biggest lesson she taught me? She never spent a dime. Literally, when she received change back, and especially dimes, she'd carry them home in her coin purse or wrap them carefully in a handkerchief and store them away in that top dresser drawer. Once a year, usually before Christmas, she would take them to the bank to cash them in. I never even considered how she could get me all those wonderful Christmas gifts, along with my cousins and our parents. Other than thinking she was rich somehow. The truth is, even though she wasn't rich monetarily, she was rich in knowledge and determination and shear will. She just refused to spend more than she made and she refused to spend all that she did make.

Over the course of this blog as I try to get a handle on my own finances and get to the point where I'm debt free, I'll share all those grains of wisdom my Grandmother passed along to me. Many of which I didn't recognize at the time, but know now what a great guru she was.